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My Godian (Guardian) Angel Dog, Yukon A Very Special Companion - 4-6-00
It’s no secret that God works through any medium to help and guide us. However, one area that people don’t usually associate God’s power and plans with is our pets. Since I am a dog person, it is through my dogs, much like Guardian Angels that God has sent to guard me in times of fear, stress, change, and tragedy. They are my guard dogs or rather, God Dogs, sent to watch over me. I had to put one of my God dogs to sleep last week and the passing of my dog also marked the end of a decade of intense spiritual lessons in this life. I cried for my dog, Yukon, a 10 pound Pomeranian, and I cried also for the new beginning it marks for my daughter and myself. The story is an intense one, intense pain, intense confusion. And my Pomeranian saw me through from start to finish. You see, my daughter and my husband gave me the dog for my 40th birthday. He was about to leave me and she was about to side with him. My 17 year old daughter, ironically enough named Karma, had just been released from an addiction treatment center. Her stepfather, Leonard, turned out to be a master manipulator, something well hidden from trusting women like myself. Leonard gave Karma drugs in exchange for loyalty and the karmic play began. I supposed it was out of guilt that they presented me with the Pom that A week later I discovered my husband’s plan to leave me. He’d always told me that when I turned forty, he’d have to trade me in on two 20 year olds. That’s exactly what he did. And shockingly, my daughter’s sympathies were with him! She didn’t want to have anything to do with me and it crushed me because I really didn’t know why. (It would only be years later that I would find out about the drugs and lies.) Believe it or not, the police told me I could not make her go with me because she was almost 18. There was little I could do but beg, plead, and pray. Throwing a few items into my car, I shouted that they would rot in hell. My husband carried the puppy out to me and I threw it back at him shrieking, “I don’t want your damn guilt dog.” Little did I know that the dog was not a guilt dog but a God dog sent from heaven to help me through the next most difficult years of my life. The ball of fur struggled out of his grasp and went scampering up to the car as I closed the door. A half pound of fur bounced like a rubber ball beside the door trying to go with me. I kept shooing it away because I didn’t want to run over it, finally I could see it wasn't going to stop bouncing and so I scooped it up and threw it in the back seat. Maybe I could sell it, I thought, I certainly wasn't going to keep something given to me out of guilt! Yukon knew different. Within weeks, he was my only consolation. As I struggled with the divorce, to understand how my husband could betray me so, and my daughter support him publicly, as I cried at night, bemorned by day, there was the miniature Husky to snuggle up to me, under my chin or nestle in the crook of my arm. Yukon would actually pitter-patter up to me on my bed and lick the tears from my cheeks. He became my family--a little living creature totally dependent on me. And if I hadn’t had this baby ball of fur to take care of, I would have fallen apart. Many was the day after that time that I looked at Yukon and thanked God for having “given” him to me right when I needed a God Dog most. Yukon literally mended my broken heart. I never saw my ex-husband again. We spoke through lawyers--and the courts. My daughter and I didn’t communicate for 10 years. Then, out of cyberspace, I received an e-mail from her. She’d found my web page with a picture of myself and Yukon on it. Fortunately, a spiritual transformation had taken place in her life and she was completely off all drugs and alcohol. Her and her husband were Christians. They had three children and she wanted desperately to make it up to me--and to understand herself what had occurred. We finally were able to compare notes and it turned out that my ex had lied shamefully to each of us to satisfy his needs--Karma was being told that I hated her and wanted to get rid of her and I was being told that my daughter hated me and told people horrible lies about me. He was dealing drugs behind my back. Leonard was a manipulator of the worse kind, but the story is not about him, its about the little dog that God sent to guard me while I healed and built a new life. As the year progressed and my daughter and I, at first with difficulty, then with joy, found our way back into each others lives and forgiveness, as we grew spiritually, I noticed Yukon slowing down. After I went to visit my daughter for the first time since that fateful divorce and meet my three sweet grandchildren, I noticed a lump under his chin. My worst fears were confirmed--my little buddy had cancer! Cancer of the jaw. He had less then 30 days. It was exactly 10 years since the ordeal began. God had sent Yukon for a special purpose and that purpose was over. After putting him to sleep, I was completely grief stricken. In desperation I went onto the Internet to find out what was there for grief stricken owners who lost their God Dogs. I found some virtual pet grave yards and found the Tinker Toy memorial for someone's little Chihuahua. It wasn't exactly what I was looking for. I keyed in “Spiritual” along with “God” and “dog”. I found the “Spiritual Story of Hound Dog,” in Chinese! Another web site explored the profound question of “Who is God and Who is Dog?” I found that the favorite dog at the BBS is a music group called “GodDog.” There was a site called “One Dog, One Bite,” and another that cried “For God’s Sake Walk the Poor Dog!” Then I found what I was looking for, a site called “Dog is One, Names are Many.” Apparently there is a Hindu cult near Bombay that is worshipping a pet dog as the reincarnation of a holy man. This is a two year old white Pomeranian, named “Sai.” My Yukon was a white Pom. Sai wears a saffron robe. It reminds me of the many times I had Yukon pose for photos dressed in infant cowboy boots, sun bonnets, and Cabbage Patch doll clothes--a pastime I created for diversion and that Yukon tolerated out of love for me. Legend has it that a Holy Man appeared before his devotees in the form of a dog in order to test them. I often wondered if my Guardian Angel appeared to me as a Godian Dog in order to test me too. This dog, Sai, has his teeth brushed (something I did with Yukon) and he is washed with luxurious shampoos imported from London (something I didn’t do with Yukon). He is fed imported vegetable “bones,” butter, and chocolates from a silver bowl. OK. That dog is in a different land from a decidedly different religion. The sect says “Dog is one, names are many,” I chose to think that “God Dogs are one, names many.” I don’t believe that dog Sai is by any means a holy man but it warms my heart to think that some dog that resembles my little Yukon is being fed vegetable bones and butter by devotees in Bombay . In his memory, I may go visit that dog someday. And when I do, I will kneel, smile, and whisper, “Yukon is one, names are many.” I believe Sai will know what I'm talking about. Shelly Marshall All Web material is copyrighted by Shelly Marshall, POB 216~Ruthville~VA 23147 Shelly Marshall is an internationally known recovery author and speaker. She uses personal anecdotes and spiritual principles to touch and delight audiences of all ages. Shelly's six recovery books have sold in excess of two million copies and are used in treatment centers around the world. |